Crime: Type 1 diabetes

I started chatting with a new diabuddy on Facebook last night who was telling me all about Dr. Denise Faustman's BCG Tuberculosis vaccine to cure diabetes.

I had heard of it before, but my reaction was always the same... sounds awesome but let it be a real cure where I can go in there take a shot and pack up Dexie, Rosie, my bg meter, along with all other D related supplies and say... "I used to have diabetes"

This time I was really excited.  I understood, from our convo not from any research I had done personally, that if this worked for a few years we would have a cure by 2022. I was elated! I would be cured by 2022? OMG sign me up!

But then I read up on it and there seems to be no proof that the participants from phase I were taken off insulin. Phase II will end in 2022, and we won't know if it's working until then. I'm not willing to hype myself up for 8 years just to be told... "my bad, you got the placebo," or "sorry, the results are inconclusive,  we need another 5 years" blah blah... you get what I mean.

My attitude after reading up on this research was "oh well, I've been doing this for 19 years, I can do it for the rest of my life. Just Live Long & Bolus!"

But when I woke up this morning with a low at 5:58am I felt like a train wreck. ... I haven't felt this disappointed about D since the first couple of years after diagnosis. It was like..... I got pranked, the cure isn't that close. Big pharma will probably never let it happen anyway. 

I wish I could curl up into a ball in bed and just mourn this all day. I'm entitled to it. We all are. Diabetes is hard, even though I try to make it seem easy for those around me... oh well, gotta get up because real life stuff awaits.

Here's my diabetes sentence (this is from the Free Diabetics Movement on Facebook,  they post mugshots with their sentence. Check them out!)

Crime: Type 1 Diabetes
Sentence: Life
Bail: A cure
Time Served: 19 years 10 months

She has sugar...

It was just another day at the office... Work, check blood sugar. Work some more, light up Dexie's screen to make sure all is good on the 'betes front. You all know the drill.

Then I discover treats!! Homemade Rice Krispy Treats, and I'm a sucker for Rice Krispy treats. I eat a couple.... and forget to bolus. No big deal. It happens to the best of us. We just take a correction bolus and life goes on, blood sugar goes down, blah blah blah...

This was toward the end of the day,  and when my blood sugar is high, I just can't eat.  Not because it's high, but because I'm just not hungry.

As I continue about my day, the lady who made the Rice Krispy Treats started passing the last few remaining in her tupperware. I politely declined. She tried pushing it, and I again said no.

Just then a co-worker decides to speak for me... "no, she doesn't want any... she has sugar." The Rice Krispy Treats lady's eyes widen, and she says, "oh no! Then no more for you," and walks away. I just smile while clenching my jaw.

My parents taught me to respect others, especially people older than me. And since I'm fairly new at the job, I decided to keep my mouth shut. But my blood was boiling; I wanted to tell this co-worker off!

First of all, what the *bleep* does having sugar mean?

Second of all, this is NOT the first time this person tries to be a diabetes police officer to me. Who the *bleep* gave her a carb counting, blood sugar monitoring bagde?

Third of all, I'm old enough to speak for myself. I say yes when I want to and no when I don't.  It's as simple as that.

Fourth of all, I have been living with diabetes for 2/3 of my life. I am alive. I am healthy. I have no complications. I have a decent A1C, and pretty good control of my diabetes. There is no "type zero" on this planet who can tell me what I can or cannot eat.

I understand that in her way she is just trying to watch out for me. But at the end of the day, this is my disease. I will do with it as I see fit. I know what I can or cannot do.