I started chatting with a new diabuddy on Facebook last night who was telling me all about Dr. Denise Faustman's BCG Tuberculosis vaccine to cure diabetes.
I had heard of it before, but my reaction was always the same... sounds awesome but let it be a real cure where I can go in there take a shot and pack up Dexie, Rosie, my bg meter, along with all other D related supplies and say... "I used to have diabetes"
This time I was really excited. I understood, from our convo not from any research I had done personally, that if this worked for a few years we would have a cure by 2022. I was elated! I would be cured by 2022? OMG sign me up!
But then I read up on it and there seems to be no proof that the participants from phase I were taken off insulin. Phase II will end in 2022, and we won't know if it's working until then. I'm not willing to hype myself up for 8 years just to be told... "my bad, you got the placebo," or "sorry, the results are inconclusive, we need another 5 years" blah blah... you get what I mean.
My attitude after reading up on this research was "oh well, I've been doing this for 19 years, I can do it for the rest of my life. Just Live Long & Bolus!"
But when I woke up this morning with a low at 5:58am I felt like a train wreck. ... I haven't felt this disappointed about D since the first couple of years after diagnosis. It was like..... I got pranked, the cure isn't that close. Big pharma will probably never let it happen anyway.
I wish I could curl up into a ball in bed and just mourn this all day. I'm entitled to it. We all are. Diabetes is hard, even though I try to make it seem easy for those around me... oh well, gotta get up because real life stuff awaits.
Here's my diabetes sentence (this is from the Free Diabetics Movement on Facebook, they post mugshots with their sentence. Check them out!)
Crime: Type 1 Diabetes
Bail: A cure
Time Served: 19 years 10 months