Saturday, November 16, 2013

Reasons why I love diabetes - umm no, not really

So I started this blog post on July 9th, but completely forgot about it. Today I just wanted to go off about diabetes, among other things, and as I read this draft, I felt like it was perfect. I will stop at diabetes though...

25 Reasons why I love diabetes: Ha! No, I do not love diabetes.

1. I hate being attached at the hip to a machine--literally.

2. I hate having to carry all these supplies everywhere I go. I cannot just grab my keys, credit cards, driver's license, put all that in my pocket and go.

3. I hate the smell of insulin.

4. I hate the infusion site on my body.

5. I hate my freckled fingertips. By the way, freckled is just a nice way of saying "calloused" and "fugly."

6. I hate having to check my blood sugar every time I eat, or have a drink (alcoholic or non-alcoholic).

7. I hate feeling panicky when I feel my blood sugar is dropping.

8. I hate feeling helpless when my blood sugar is low.

9. I hate having to eat, or drink juice, to treat a low when I'm not hungry.

10. I hate the weird smell only I can smell when my blood sugar is high.

11. I hate the aches in my body when my blood sugar is high.

12. I hate being cranky when my blood sugar is low or high.

13. I hate feeling so dependent.

14. I hate it when diabetes makes me feel different or when non-diabetics make me feel different.

15. I hate it that I can't look at a meal when eating out and say, "this looks delicious." My first thought is, "how much insulin should I take for this?"

16. I hate having to think of everything I eat in numbers.
Scrambled eggs-0g Carbs
White Rice-45g Carbs (1 cup)

17. I hate it when diabetes interrupts my sleep.

18. I hate going extremely long periods of time without eating because of a stubborn high that just refuses to come down.

19. I hate the itch on my DexCom site that I can never get to until I take the sensor off.

20. I hate that I'm terrified of amputations - any cut or scrape on my feet or legs gives me an anxiety attack.

21. I hate it when people say, "somebody I used to know died of diabetes." It makes me want to tell them, "thanks a lot, I'll have nightmares about a long, painful death tonight."

22. I hate it when I feel judged about my blood sugar. "Oh it's not my fault you can't control your blood sugar...." Umm excuse me???? People like this should try walking in my shoes for a day.

23. I hate feeling the need for support. (Thank you diabetes online community - you guys are the very best. And my family, I would never have made it without you.)

24. I hate having to wear a dog collar. (It's a medical ID bracelet, but I feel like I'm wearing a dog collar.)

25. I hate it that diabetes is a full time job - that I have to pay for!