Positively Diabetes

I woke up today feeling extremely positive about life and diabetes (a large part of my life is about the 'betes anyway). At 7:16 I was wide awake. No desire to curl into a ball and go back to sleep. I was totally and utterly happy! I didn't immediately roll out of bed though. I had to go do my hbA1C blood work, and since I couldn't have my usual cup o'joe, I checked in with my DOC family, then happily went to get yet another needle prick for the day. I wasn't even upset when, after parking my car and feeding the meter, I walked inside LabCorp and realized that I had forgotten the paperwork I needed at home. Who cares if it was extremely cold out? Who cares if someone takes my parking spot? Who cares if I have to take 5 minutes and drive home, pick up the paperwork, drive another 5 minutes to LabCorp and feed another meter? Life felt good. Hey, they even had stickers on the wall at LabCorp!

LabCorp 

My new insurance kicked in today! I am finally able to get new pump supplies, get blood sugar test strips for my OneTouch Ping meter for an affordable co-pay, as opposed to it costing an arm and a leg (heeehee, yea yea, bad pun, sorry!), and I could get blood work done for free (well, not free, I do pay for my insurance).

Beautiful, isn't it?

But the joys in my life now are different from three months ago. I want to jump for joy (and sometimes do) when my blood sugar stays in range, or when I carb count correctly. Yes, I wake up happy knowing I can get these things (pump supplies, blood work, test strips, see my endo!), for I took it all for granted while I had easy access to them. And while I had easy access to it all, I managed to neglect my diabetes. I won't say I was in denial. No, I always snuck in diabetes into conversations, but I just plugged in my pump and let it do the work (forehead smack). I'd bolus for very big meals, but some days I wouldn't bolus at all. Sometimes I'd check my blood sugar once a day, and sometimes once a week; I'd skip endo appointments. I know we're all "bad diabetics" from time to time, but I was a HORRIBLE diabetic for years. To be completely honest (these are my confessions, after all), I have no clue what my last a1c was, or when (but I will be sure to find out on next endo appointment).

But one day, October 20, 2012 to be exact, I woke up feeling "positively diabetes." I started checking my blood sugar multiple times that same day. I carb counted throughout the whole day. And it became that easy to be "positively diabetes." And I kept myself going, taking baby steps to get where I want to be (definitely not there, yet). I started exercising here and there and cut down tons on fast food, I even started eating broccoli! Then, I saw a Facebook post by Diabetes Social Medial Advocates about a Twitter chat on World Diabetes Day. One topic per hour, for twelve hours! I figured it wouldn't hurt to check it out.

Thus, I discovered the wonderful world of the Diabetes Online Community. I couldn't believe it! These people were like me. They felt the way I did! They "GOT" it! I was in awe. And just like that my Twitter followers began to grow, and I started following people who really had something in common with me! And I made friends. Yes, I consider you, DOC, my friends. At my darkest hours I can, and do, reach out to my Non-Diabetic friends and family members, but you guys have felt like I do, or are going through the same thing, and it helps so much! Would I have reverted back to neglecting my diabetes if I hadn't found the DOC? I can't say. What I can say is that without the DOC, the battles I fight daily would be much harder to fight.

I want to be forever "positively diabetes."

'Betes Rollercoaster Hangover

After a weekend of the 'betes rollercoaster (tons of lows, then extreme highs), I woke up today at exactly 8:26am and wanted only to curl up into a ball and go back to sleep. But then I remembered how great I felt last week after waking up early, having breakfast, working out, getting my tutoring materials ready for the day, then going to teach my munchkins. Yes I was tired at night, but my days were much more fuIfilling. (Yay for New Year's Resolutions!)
I had tons of energy and felt optimistic for the first time in a long time (more on my d-history, bouts of denial and negligence later).
   
So I got out of bed, made coffee and had some cookies (still working on healthier diet, but I'm getting there little by little). I checked Twitter, my diabetes support haven, talked to a few people, and reluctantly turned on my iPod, got on the bike and started pedaling. And I'm happy I did. My morning felt better after 30 minutes on that monster of a bike, I felt a bit more energetic and well, my diabetes thanked me... (At least I think it did. Ha!)

Diabetes doesn't take a break. My pancreas will not jumpstart itself on days I feel down. So I must get up. I must exercise. I must do everything in my power to tame the 'betes beast that threatens to overpower me if I give it the chance.